He remembers His promise of mercy, the promise He made to Abraham and his children forever.
And unlovable, and so very broken. God sends His word to speak to your aching heart:
Before the LORD the whole universe is as a grain from a balance
or a drop of morning dew come down upon the earth.
But you have mercy on all, because you can do all things;
and you overlook people’s sins that they may repent. For you love all things that are and loathe nothing that you have made; for what you hated, you would not have fashioned. And how could a thing remain, unless you willed it;
or be preserved, had it not been called forth by you?
But you spare all things, because they are yours,
O LORD and lover of souls,
for your imperishable spirit is in all things!
Therefore you rebuke offenders little by little,
warn them and remind them of the sins they are committing,
that they may abandon their wickedness and believe in you, O LORD! – Wisdom 11:22-12:2 (NAB)
His name is Love and Mercy and Goodness. He calls us all to Himself, chastises justly but with gentleness. He tenderly enfolds us in His embrace and admonishes us to do better, to try harder, to never give up. When we fall down in the mess we have made, we must get back up, dust ourselves off, clean up that mess, and try again. And again. Every single day for as many days as we are granted.
Each one of us was loved into existence by Love Himself. We are precious and worthy. We are cherished beyond reason, and above measure. In all our ugliness and failings as well as in our triumphs and joys.
On Michaelmas, we started a fresh school year. We started off slowly and have now fallen into a nice rhythm again. It has been a welcome occupation for everyone. In slackening off out of consideration of our two Bulgarians, we lost our direction, became rudderless. In the end, the lack of routine wasn’t actually doing any good for the two we were trying to help. Live and learn, I suppose.
The night before, we prepared first day of school gifts and laid them out so that the children would find them in their places in the morning. We filled some silver lunchboxes with school supplies and a couple of treats.
After breakfast, Brian gave a blessing for our school year, as he always does. How lovely it is to have a resident deacon!
It was a bit disappointing to have to use the dining room as our learning space again this year, It makes it so much more difficult to be ready to welcome guests. Ah, well… It’s authentically us, right where we are today. Come on in anyway.
We start each day with the daily readings from the Mass and incense, then right on to our main lesson. After twenty years of homeschooling, I have abandoned clever ‘circle time’ poems and embraced a style of gathering that is more in-keeping with our faith. It has freed me, and relieved my anxiety.
And this year, I think that I have finally settled into a (self-designed) curriculum that will see us through the next 15 years or so. It was conceived in such a way that I can teach all of my kids, regardless of developmental level, using largely the same material and at the same time. It is a huge time and sanity saver. I’ll spend the next three years putting it to paper as we go, and then, perhaps, I’ll share it.
More than anything, I cherish watching my children work together, help each other, love each other. What a magnificent gift to be the mother of so many.
Our family is growing again! This time to include a new son. Our oldest daughter is engaged to be married to a wonderful young man whom we have known for many years. We are so blessed to be granted the grace of watching them plan a holy marriage together. We hope that it will also be one blessed with strength and joy.