Sometimes the mission you think you’re setting out on changes slightly. The big picture is the same, but the finer details, the ones you had imagined, are revealed to be very different. And that is as it should be, because God’s plans are always
better than anything we could imagine.
This week, after several weeks struggling with our chosen adoption agency, we decided that we couldn’t work with them anymore. I won’t go into details, but if you’re curious, please do email us. What this means is that, in all likelihood, we won’t be able to adopt Sveta and Alexi. We have been told that there is another family also working on adopting them, and we hope that that is true. More than you know.
We got a piece of information last Wednesday that helped us to determine our current course of action. I checked my email on my phone, read through the message from Ukraine that I was expecting, and suddenly felt at peace. I hadn’t anticipated that reaction. But it was a confirmation of our suspicions, and fears.
At that moment, Brian and I were sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room, fretting over what we were certain was going to be bad news. The staff all looked sorrowful and anxious. But I need to back up a bit…
Several weeks ago, before my twice-monthly injection, I took a routine pregnancy test. To my surprise, it was positive – strongly and quickly positive. Of course, I was thrilled, and Brian was thrilled. But it was tempered with caution after our recent experience of the loss of our little Beatrice. We were guarding our hearts. And we decided to guard everyone else’s too. We told no one but our pastor, Father David, who gave us and the new baby a blessing on the spot.
And we decided not to say anything to our social worker or our adoption agency until we felt as though we were out of the woods…
And last Wednesday was to be the day. I went in for my 12 week check up with the doctor I had seen throughout my previous pregnancy. I was wracked with nerves because this was the point in my last pregnancy that we learned that she had passed away. My blood pressure was high and my pulse was racing. The midwife applied the doppler probe to take a listen for the baby’s heart beat.
Several minutes passed and still she searched.
She checked my pulse.
She kept searching.
She kept her spirits high and was trying so hard to encourage us. She sent us to the waiting room to wait for Kathy, the ultrasound lady. Kathy and I had got to know each other very, very well during my last pregnancy, what with the weekly ultrasound to determine our status. Once a week for 10 weeks.
After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened and Kathy, looking very tense, called us into the ultrasound room. She asked all of the usual questions – usual for me – “are you bleeding?” “how are you feeling?”
She snapped out the lights and I lay on the table, bare belly, Brian standing by my side. I couldn’t watch the screen as she moved the probe over my abdomen. I covered my face with my arm, tears streaming down my cheeks. So quiet…
Then Kathy said, “Nissa, I want you to look at this.”
I reluctantly uncovered my eyes and turned them to the screen. I stared. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There, in the middle of the dark screen, was the form of a perfect, wiggly baby.
To music none of us could hear. Not with our ears.
But in our hearts.
All is well. All is well.
Our newest baby will arrive during Eastertide, sometime in April. We are overjoyed. We are so abundantly blessed.
So what does that mean for our ministry to orphans?
The short answer is that we aren’t sure. At least not in the short term. We are planning to continue with our homestudy and get it completed (we will likely need to have it updated after the baby arrives), renew passports, and gather as many of the required documents as we can (the ones that aren’t time sensitive). And we will be working with an independent adoption facilitator in Ukraine. Someone we have come to trust, for his honesty and generosity. Someone recommended to us by a family who has used him for their adoptions.
And we are asking to be approved for up to four children. These children may be related or unrelated. And because pre-selection of children is actually against the law in Ukraine, our children will be a surprise!
That isn’t unlike birth, is it?
God’s plan is perfect, and we are humbly honored to participate in it, no matter where it leads.
We are continuing to raise funds for these adoptions, if you are moved to contribute in any way. You will be blessed. Please check our adoption page later this week for updated information. And pray for the children we had hoped to adopt. They need our prayers still.