For the first time in many years, I’m rushing Christmas. I feel like we all need a hit of that sweetness to lift our spirits. Last Friday, our date night consisted of a trip to Michael’s to buy Christmas decorations on sale. Yesterday, I did all of our Christmas shopping. All of it. I’m done. That never happens. We are always running around on Christmas Eve before the midnight Mass. Not this year.
I am working on a new Advent tradition here, too. I’m still going to use my matchbox calendar, but this year I think I’m going to print little messages to put into the boxes. The messages will herald what activity we will do for that day: a special meal, a service project, a handcraft.
If you’re feeling like you need a little Christmas, too, and you plan on heading over to do some shopping for Christmas gifts this weekend, you can click on the link below before going to Amazon and we will earn a commission! It only takes a moment to click through. We are so grateful to all of the people who clicked through the last couple of years.
“Kind words are a creative force, a power that concurs in the building up of all that is good, an energy that showers blessings on the world” – Fr. Lawrence Lovasik, SVD
God sends us the grace that we need in all situations. We have had a tough year here, and it just keeps getting tougher. We had an episode with Olivia during Mass and I was utterly wrung out by it. Wondering if I can ever be the mother she needs, if she will ever stop traumatizing the rest of the family… all while attempting to keep up a happy expression so that we continue to be a blessing rather than a burden to our parish and community.
Our daughter Cat texted on Sunday afternoon to catch up about her weekend. She had a table of guests on Saturday who somehow got around to talking with her about big families. She mentioned that she was the oldest of eleven. To her surprise and delight, they proposed a toast.
“To Cat’s Mom”.
I stood in the kitchen and sobbed for joy and gratitude, reading that perfect strangers had thought of me enough to wish me well. Those kind words changed my entire day. I felt uplifted and was able to cast off the sadness that was preventing me from giving my best to my family. They blessed me, and I was able to bless them. God sent exactly the nourishment I needed to get me – and everyone – through a day that might otherwise have broken me.
Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony. – Thomas Merton
A maple wood bowl filled with sweet fern and acorns.
I used to believe that happiness was a matter of intensity. I craved stimulation of all the senses, all the time. I needed to feel life in order to be sure I was alive.
Over the last year, I’ve had more stimulation of the senses than I could ever have dreamed. We all have. That constant onslaught makes you tender and sore. It makes you crave quietude. And it often makes happiness feel elusive. We forgot how to be happy in the storm that is trauma. Trauma is evil. Trauma steals all good things. It is hell.
And then Brian and I had a talk at a restaurant dinner table recently…
We were working through strategies for bringing back an abundance of peace and joy, hope and love into our home. I think we both started out thinking that we had to plan an elaborate distraction – a weekend away in a totally new environment with new adventures. But in the end, it was the small things that we decided would make the most difference – order and rhythm would restore balance and harmony.
The gentle, orderly rhythm that is provided by our prayer life and homeschool studies, the flow of the liturgical seasons, the joy of marking holidays and holy days with simple, joyful celebrations. That is what heals the soul, what brings happiness back to the hearth, what dispels darkness.
I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children walking in the truth
just as we were commanded by the Father.
But now, Lady, I ask you,
not as though I were writing a new commandment
but the one we have had from the beginning: let us love one another.
For this is love, that we walk according to his commandments;
this is the commandment, as you heard from the beginning,
in which you should walk.
Many deceivers have gone out into the world,
those who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh;
such is the deceitful one and the antichrist.
Look to yourselves that you do not lose what we worked for
but may receive a full recompense. Anyone who is so “progressive” as not to remain in the teaching of the Christ does not have God;
whoever remains in the teaching has the Father and the Son. – 2 John 4-9
Although I’m here in my little bubble, I am not unaware of the violence and upheaval going on around the country. I know about the ugliness being meted out between friends and families.
Two salient points from yesterday’s first reading from the Mass leapt out at me. Perhaps they will speak to you as well.
First – we must love one another. We must will the good of one another even if we don’t have affection for one another.
Second – it is not love to preach that which is outside of accepted Church teaching. We must not modify or innovate the Gospel,we mustn’t torture it to seem to support viewpoints or behaviours that are either explicitly contradicted by scripture and/or tradition.
We must love the person. That doesn’t mean we can’t abhor the words, thoughts, or actions of another. But always we must love. We must take care of each other. We mustn’t do harm in body, mind, spirit, nor to that which belongs to another person. We defeat evil by filling that vacuum with good… with love.
Anyway, that’s what I try to teach my children. I guess that’s what you try to teach yours. I guess that’s what nearly all of us were taught and what we want to teach. Perhaps we could try to channel that anger, disappointment, entitlement, braggadocio into something constructive, something to build everyone up. I wonder what that world would look like? I suspect it would look a lot like Heaven on earth.
“If we have no peace it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” – St. Teresa of Calcutta
“I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.”
– Henry David Thoreau, Walden
I find I’m becoming more introverted as I get older. Friends and family, who know me well, will tell you that I am an extrovert to a power of ten. I love people. But more and more, I feel I need to love people quietly. More and more, I feel I need to draw into my own small circle with those I love most and just be together.
I long for a time when I can visit long and deep with a good friend, maybe two. I long to meet with some of the wonderful men and women that modern technology has brought into my life. But so few. So very few. It seems, sadly, that the only place I can visit with those people is in a very bright, very loud café, constantly interrupted. I want to focus on the heart of my companion, to talk about meaningful things, to laugh together, or to sit in silent contemplation, joining hearts and hands, making memories that sustain us both.
I want to be far from the hubbub that is current society. It’s all too loud, too angry, too brash, too rude. I feel wounded and I need to make sense of it all. Here. In solitude.
“In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.” – Albert Camus
But I leave the door open to kind-hearted friends and acquaintances who want to come to call – through this space and in real life.